Another BYF in terms of like... who i am as a person.
If youre wanting to get to know me heres something to read. it's not mandatory fjdksla
I'm extremely Cautious, avoidant, and hard to like... develop an interpersonal relationship with.
but at the same time, I'm told im easy to talk to about anything. I'll happily reply to anyone and i love making jokes and bonding!
Cautious by nature: I have a lot of trust issues, it effect my interpersonal relationships. I don't talk in depth one on one unless it's over something serious and Day Of kinda thing?? like if you need to talk to me about something important or a need to vent i can be there.. i just.. can't talk about interests or personal life or anything unless it's short and on twitter or a stream or smth. i dont have chat programs besides one i exclusively share alone with my partner. I have a hard time with it due to experience of disossiating and forgetting to reply so i just.. disappear a lot and im told by several people that hurts. I genuinely promise it's nothing personal.. I have serious attention problems and my brain stabs me in my dick
Avoidant: It's both conscious and unconscious. I'm scared, basically. I get very scared and paranoid and i know it's all in my head but i end up disappearing or not replying or doing things but keep to myself. I'm trying to push out of it and it always helps having peple just. continuously prode me a reminder.
Interpersonal relationships: I am basically a mandatory low ass maintance friend. You can not talk to me for months and i'd still consider you close. and you dont ever have to worry about me forgetting about you. unless youve done something to drastically hurt me, i'd let you know if thats the case. But I can't... do with a ton of intense attention and needs. I get overstimulated like hell and i shut down. and i want to apologize for that.. I dont want to be a bad friend to anyone.
I'm someone that typically keeps to myself and my partner. I dont intend harm and i dont intend to do anything beyond shit post and draw a boy and some dogs. I love the people ive come to know and been across and i look forward to any new people i'll meet and share an experience with!! I try my very absolute best to be kind and reasonable..
With all this in mind I am ACTIVELY trying to get better at all of this. Im very determined but at the same time i do enjoy my little cozy solitude. I dont want to talk about anything more intense about my personal life, so i hope that can be respected
thank you so much for reading, sorry it's kind of a weird.. post.